I’m sure this topic has been touched by many eggheads. My basic motto while writing this article was to present the confused state of mind that I and a lot of people from our generation are in. Everything I have written here is based on my experiences. So I’m sure I would find many who would disagree with my views at some point and I respect your views and am not here to contest those.
Am trying to find the answer and hoping to find it soon. Is staying in India better than being abroad.
I always believed and still firmly believe that one should be exposed to the world outside India to speak/write about this topic. I have read several articles where people lash out at either party without knowing the full picture, which in my view is unfair.
I was offered a job as a Software Developer in a MNC for their development center in Cyprus. Without thinking twice I jumped at the opportunity to leave India. When I decided to take up the job I did not know anything about the company or the place – I was too happy about earning in dollars and being one of the few lucky ones to leave India directly after college for a job. I was in Cyprus for about 4 years, from Oct 2000 to Nov 2004 and then in Nov’2004 I moved to the US. I left Bombay when I was 21. Today, I am 27.
I come from a middle class close knit family in Bombay. I had never stayed away from my family for except those summer vacations when I used to be at my grand mom’s place, which in a way was again family. It’s been over 6 years that I have been with my family. Of course I travel to India as frequently as possible. I used to frequent Bombay about once in 8-10 months when I was in Cyprus. But the distance between US and Bombay doesn’t permit me to keep up to that pace. Also 2-3 weeks vacation does not suffice my thirst of family reunion and bonding.
A lot has happened in these 6 years: Our family saw 4 deaths – 1 unexpected, more than 5 marriages, 3-4 new babies, Most of my friend circle in Bombay moved out to US/UK, the list goes on and on.
Whenever I come back to the US from India, I always get a strong urge to go back for good and every time it gets stronger. I guess most of the people get this urge, but since the last 2 times it’s been something different and is getting stronger by the day. I don’t know when and if ever I will go back. There is one part in me which wakes up atleast once a week and wants to go to work, call it a day and go back to India for good. Then, there’s the other part, which somehow comes up with explanations (I don’t know if they can be termed as excuses) asking not to do so.
I don’t know who is correct, but the second chunk seems to be winning as of today. I don’t know if the first part will ever win and if yes, when. I don’t know if I want the first part to win.
I have so many reasons to go back to India: Family (Parents, Bro, In-Laws), Friends, Food :) , Convenience of life, better career path etc.
And I have equal number of reasons not to go back: Money, Standard of Life, Less tension/stress in day to day life.
The cumulative weight of reasons on each side is nearly the same as of today and so probably I am where I am.
While discussing with a close buddy last evening, he said that probably it’s been a long duration that I have not stayed with my folks and that could be a reason of these urges. My wife’s folks would be here in April for 5-6 months and early next year my folks would be here. I guess time will tell if what he says is true.
If I still have this urge then the other factors mentioned above can be constituted as “quite influential” as well.
Sometimes when I and my wife discuss this issue, we come to a conclusion that we are still pretty young to think about all this. We still have enough time to earn some money and go back to India in maybe 5-7 years. By then, we hopefully would have enough money for the basic setup in India and also we would be there in India when our folks would need us the most.
Many of my friends with whom I have discussed this have the opinion – Yes, I will go back. However few are clear about the timelines. Few are willing to stay here permanently. Few are clear, firm, fierce and passionate about what they want and when they want it. And, these are the few people that I am happy for and jealous at the same time. Happy and jealous for the same reason – they know what they want.
I would love to be a part of this small lucky population. For now, the 5-7 years option seems the most likely one. The time frame at times looks too long – long enough for our decision to sway. But I guess only time will tell.
Am trying to find the answer and hoping to find it soon. Is staying in India better than being abroad.
I always believed and still firmly believe that one should be exposed to the world outside India to speak/write about this topic. I have read several articles where people lash out at either party without knowing the full picture, which in my view is unfair.
I was offered a job as a Software Developer in a MNC for their development center in Cyprus. Without thinking twice I jumped at the opportunity to leave India. When I decided to take up the job I did not know anything about the company or the place – I was too happy about earning in dollars and being one of the few lucky ones to leave India directly after college for a job. I was in Cyprus for about 4 years, from Oct 2000 to Nov 2004 and then in Nov’2004 I moved to the US. I left Bombay when I was 21. Today, I am 27.
I come from a middle class close knit family in Bombay. I had never stayed away from my family for except those summer vacations when I used to be at my grand mom’s place, which in a way was again family. It’s been over 6 years that I have been with my family. Of course I travel to India as frequently as possible. I used to frequent Bombay about once in 8-10 months when I was in Cyprus. But the distance between US and Bombay doesn’t permit me to keep up to that pace. Also 2-3 weeks vacation does not suffice my thirst of family reunion and bonding.
A lot has happened in these 6 years: Our family saw 4 deaths – 1 unexpected, more than 5 marriages, 3-4 new babies, Most of my friend circle in Bombay moved out to US/UK, the list goes on and on.
Whenever I come back to the US from India, I always get a strong urge to go back for good and every time it gets stronger. I guess most of the people get this urge, but since the last 2 times it’s been something different and is getting stronger by the day. I don’t know when and if ever I will go back. There is one part in me which wakes up atleast once a week and wants to go to work, call it a day and go back to India for good. Then, there’s the other part, which somehow comes up with explanations (I don’t know if they can be termed as excuses) asking not to do so.
I don’t know who is correct, but the second chunk seems to be winning as of today. I don’t know if the first part will ever win and if yes, when. I don’t know if I want the first part to win.
I have so many reasons to go back to India: Family (Parents, Bro, In-Laws
And I have equal number of reasons not to go back: Money, Standard of Life, Less tension/stress in day to day life.
The cumulative weight of reasons on each side is nearly the same as of today and so probably I am where I am.
While discussing with a close buddy last evening, he said that probably it’s been a long duration that I have not stayed with my folks and that could be a reason of these urges. My wife’s folks would be here in April for 5-6 months and early next year my folks would be here. I guess time will tell if what he says is true.
If I still have this urge then the other factors mentioned above can be constituted as “quite influential” as well.
Sometimes when I and my wife discuss this issue, we come to a conclusion that we are still pretty young to think about all this. We still have enough time to earn some money and go back to India in maybe 5-7 years. By then, we hopefully would have enough money for the basic setup in India and also we would be there in India when our folks would need us the most.
Many of my friends with whom I have discussed this have the opinion – Yes, I will go back. However few are clear about the timelines. Few are willing to stay here permanently. Few are clear, firm, fierce and passionate about what they want and when they want it. And, these are the few people that I am happy for and jealous at the same time. Happy and jealous for the same reason – they know what they want.
I would love to be a part of this small lucky population. For now, the 5-7 years option seems the most likely one. The time frame at times looks too long – long enough for our decision to sway. But I guess only time will tell.
2 comments:
"U.S is the land of oppurtunity"...These words often echo in my mind...No doubt it's true...But think of it, I have a better job today,better car,bigger house but do I get gratification? No, and the reason is that these things bring happiness momentarily but not eternal bliss...Now to attain the same, you don't need heavy bank balances but attain peace with yourself. Why do all Indian hearts reckon going back to their roots at some point or the other in their lives? B'cos there is something definitely amiss in our lives...For me, I've figured out- it's loneliness, lack of friends, relatives...And to feel that warmth again, I guess it would be a good idea to leave for good rather than trying to emulate this land's natives' lifestyles.
True. Very True. So I guess its just a matter of when.
But to think of it, now even our old friends would have flocked out of the home town. At the same time there are a host of opportunities in India to make new friends all the time.
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